The Wine Cellar: Fact and Fiction 

You just got home from the local wine shop with a new treasure. "Well, where shall I put it?" you ask.  If you drink all of your wine within a few days of buying it (like most Americans do), you can store it almost anywhere.   Oh sure, keep it out of the sun (and the car trunk and the microwave oven) but that's pretty much it.  Next to the Grey Poupon in the fridge or even (gasp) on the top of the fridge is really okay if it's going to see the inside of a glass sometime soon.

But if you're visiting Brentwood Wine Company, chances are you're pretty serious about storing more wine than you can drink in the coming week, or even the coming year. The wine's probably starting to overflow that spare closet, and maybe even the guest room (a good way to keep Aunt Millie from visiting too often you rationalize).  But the Significant Other is starting to drop hints about regaining use of the east wing of the castle and lately you've started to have nightmares about your precious Turley Zinfandel seeping through its cork and onto the new white carpet. 

What to do?  "Build a wine cellar, of course" you tell your Significant Other.  And you know exactly what kind of cellar you need, too.  It's that one you've seen in the wine mags - with perfect redwood racking winding off into the distance, marble floors, indirect lighting and the obligatory antique tasting table big enough to hold a banquet.  "Look at this" you say, holding out a picture of a stylishly dressed and coiffed man and woman beaming ecstatically from wine heaven, "See how happy we'll be".  Silence.  Then, being the practical Significant Other that he or she has always been, they bring you back down to earth. "We live in a tract home" you're reminded.   "And we were saving to get the kitchen remodeled, weren't we?"  You don't think it's a good time to reveal just how much of the kitchen fund you just blew on Turley Zinfandel, but you get the point.

Don't get me wrong, having a wine cellar is great (we've got two) and building one can be a lot of fun (we've done it four times and are planning a fifth)   but it's not the only solution for the serious oenophile, or the person with serious oenophilic aspirations (see, Mom those four years in the Ivy League paid off).    Here, then, are:

Dave's Top Ten Truths About a Wine Cellar

10. It always costs more to build than you expect, even when you know it will cost more than you expect.

9. It always takes longer to build than you expect, even when you know it will take longer than you expect.

8. It always disrupts the rest of your life more than you expect, even when ...

7. Contrary to those pictures in the wine mags, significant others tend not to be ecstatically happy spending hours gazing fondly at your acres of wine racks.

6. On the other hand, Uncle Charlie (who thinks Opus is a penguin and looks vaguely like one himself) just loves to spend time with you in the cellar pointing to bottles and asking "What does that one taste like?" 

5.  Modern-day thieves have learned that a door sporting a "Ye Olde Royal Wyne Cellar" sign might have something good behind it.

4.  Your Significant Other has learned that he/she needs to yell REALLY LOUD to get your attention when you're down there.  And a touch of shrillness doesn't hurt either.

3.  Unless you move an easy chair and TV in, it's really not all that comfortable a place to spend time.

2.  You start to wish you'd spent less money on the cellar and more on wine.

1.  It's never, ever big enough.

Do you have any questions or comments on storing or taking care of wine?  E-Mail us at dave@brentwoodwine.com.